Alan Bennett

“If you think squash is a competitive activity, try flower arranging.”

“Closing a public library is child abuse, really, because it hinders child development.”

“We were put to Dickens as children but it never quite took. That unremitting humanity soon had me cheesed off.”

“Those who have known the famous are publicly debriefed of their memories, knowing as their own dusk falls that they will only be remembered for remembering someone else.”

“I'm all in favour of free expression provided it's kept rigidly under control.”

“I'm less genial than people think, but I'm too timid to seem nasty.”

“Children always assume the sexual lives of their parents come to a grinding halt at their conception.”

“Sometimes, particularly in summers in New York, I have tried to write in shorts or with no shirt on and found myself unable to do so, the reason being, I take it, that writing, even of the m...”

“Teachers need to feel they are trusted. They must be allowed some leeway to use their imagination; otherwise, teaching loses all sense of wonder and excitement.”

“We were all miners in our family. My father was a miner. My mother is a miner. These are miner's hands, but we were all artists, I suppose, really. But I was the first one who had the urge t...”

“Full-blooded romantic love I wouldn't be able to write about.”

“The bits I most remember about my school days are those that took place outside the classroom, as we were taken on countless theatre visits and trips to places of interest.”