Aziz Ansari

“Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.”

“Like with 'Parks and Recreation,' it's so much fun because the people writing it are funny and they're open and you just go in there and have a good time. It's pretty much the easiest job I'...”

“Myself, Eric Wareheim, and Jason Woliner decided to start a Food Club where the three of us go to restaurants with a couple of other people. The three of us are the captains of the Food Club...”

“I know my fan base is a smart group of people.”

“After you do a joke a few times, you have material that you know works. Although sometimes I have a joke that has worked a bunch of times and then one night it'll flop. And that's when I rea...”

“After you do a joke a few times, you have material that you know works. Although sometimes I have a joke that has worked a bunch of times, and then one night it'll flop.”

“I like the brand Band of Outsiders. Their suits are cut really slim, for smaller framed gentlemen.”

“Every single person, pretty much, is taught what they're supposed to do: go to school, get a job, find someone to love, get married, have kids, raise the kids, and then die. Nobody questions...”

“I was 18 when I started. I was hanging out with some friends and they asked if I had tried stand-up before. I hadn't, but I thought: 'What the hell?' So I went to an open mic night, and I li...”

“I guess my music taste is pretty predictable: I like new indie rock stuff, older stuff.”

“Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.”

“I have an amazing metabolism. I'm sure that'll be gone one day. But I like to exercise, too, so I don't think I'll ever get really fat.”

“I'm kind of obsessed with food. I like to eat.”

“I'm kind of obsessed with food. I like to eat. When I tour, it's like, well, like a food tour as much as a comedy tour.”

“Even in my stand-up, there's a lot more positivity and enthusiasm rather than negative, I-hate-everything vibes.”

“What's cool about Twitter is that you can make a joke about something very of-the-moment or random that I wouldn't be able to joke about in stand-up.”

“Stand-up comedy is a raunchy profession.”

“A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.”

“For the majority of the time, I may as well have been just a really tan white kid. You know, I may as well have just been, like, a fat kid.”

“I'm the kind of person, if I see something, like a funny video, I want to share it. With Twitter and Tumblr you can do that on a mass scale, and people get to know your personality.”