Carrot Top

“I've always wanted to do a segment on a talk show. Jay Leno has been such a good friend, and if he would allow me, I'd have to get it all together, but I'd like to go on 'The Tonight Show' a...”

“People do give me a hard time about my hair because it's orange and it's big.”

“My real name is Scott Thompson. I could have gone by that name, but when I started doing comedy I thought I needed to go by something that has a little more of a hook.”

“When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me.”

“I do go through a mini depression because one minute there are people yelling and screaming for me on stage and the next I'm at home and it's dead quiet. So it takes a while to come down.”

“I love to shop, especially in retro stores. I have about a million pairs of old-school sports shoes like Adidas, so that's probably my biggest vice.”

“My manager has a car payment, so I work every night.”

“In movies, you don't get reactions: Live, when you do a joke, you know in a second whether it's good or bad. But in a movie, since no one is allowed to laugh or do anything, when you're done...”

“Video games are so popular these days, getting the opportunity to star in one is something special. More people should do it.”

“I would like to be someone like Steve Martin. That's the path I'd like to follow.”

“It's our nature: Human beings like success but they hate successful people.”