Conan O'Brien

“It's a good thing I was born in this century, when superfluous television seems to be part of the economy.”

“According to a new survey, 40 percent of adults in Mexico say they would move to the United States if they got a chance. The number would have been higher, but the other 60 percent already l...”

“Several hard-core Star Wars fans who had tickets for the first showing actually said that when the movie finally began, they started crying. Mainly because they realized that it's 22 years l...”

“Early on, they were timing my contract with an egg timer.”