Dylan Moran

“I wouldn't be in a huge hurry to go back to Kansas. It was just bizarre. There's a lot of very, very heavy set people who believe in whatever they were told, because they didn't seem to get...”

“I don't watch a whole lot of stand up. Mainly I prefer to read writers; they make me laugh the most. Something gets you when you're alone and someone's voice is coming through their work. Th...”

“Yeah, I think Michael has had to deal with that label of being Michael Caine for a long time.”

“My drive to put myself on the line comes from boredom. From that feeling when you go to bed and think, 'What did I do today?' It doesn't have to be something monumental, just a feeling that...”

“I'm really not big on nationalism, to be honest with you. I really don't think it gets people anywhere except near a pile of dead bodies. I'm Irish, yeah, but I don't need to get up on a soa...”

“I'm fascinated by how you'll change your position so many times over a lifetime, but really what you're doing is occupying a series of positions on a landscape.”

“I'm organised in some ways, but not in others.”

“I was lucky in the sense that I was never blessed with an overly reflective nature.”

“I don't want to do panel games or adverts. I really like challenges. I always get roles as an art teacher or a photographer. In the future I want to play something like a mugger/assassin/pas...”

“I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself.”

“Children are the most honest critics. They will say 'You're funny', but also 'You're pathetic - go away.'”

“I get a phone call once every 18 months from some mad person who wants me to do something for less than no money and they give me about a week's notice. That's my film career, most of the ti...”

“I wanted to show off - a simple impulse or drive; in much the same way as some kids wanted to play football, I wanted to show off. Not complicated in that sense, very natural; it just depend...”

“You can't please everyone, nor should you seek to, because then you won't please anyone, least of all yourself.”

“I thought The Office was good, though I didn't think of it as a sitcom, just as a very good programme.”

“I have no qualifications to do anything else and there weren't any formal application forms you had to fill in for stand-up, so I thought I'd give that a twist.”

“If you're a comic, you don't have a rehearsal room; you rehearse on stage. My main concern is remembering everything. I've written lots of material, but how do you memorise 90 minutes? That'...”

“If you're a comic, you don't have a rehearsal room, you rehearse on stage. My main concern is remembering everything.”

“I'd be hard-pressed to think of anybody who's made me laugh, who's funny, but who's also relentlessly positive.”

“I'm not drunk onstage, although I've done that a couple of times when I was younger. It's partly just the way I talk - I talk like somebody in a rocking chair. I'm your 150-year-old grandmot...”