Garrison Keillor

“I don't have a great eye for detail. I leave blanks in all of my stories. I leave out all detail, which leaves the reader to fill in something better.”

“I've wanted to be a writer since I was a boy, though it seemed an unlikely outcome since I showed no real talent. But I persevered and eventually found my own row to hoe. Ignorance of other...”

“The father of a daughter is nothing but a high-class hostage. A father turns a stony face to his sons, berates them, shakes his antlers, paws the ground, snorts, runs them off into the under...”

“I was an English major at the University of Minnesota, and I was very shy, which many people misinterpreted as intelligence. On the basis of that wrong impression, I became the editor of the...”

“I think that if writers are tempted to do other things, they ought to go do other things. They should not write if they don't feel like it. I say this as a competitor. I am not interested in...”

“A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.”

“Cursing is highly effective in person - someone kicks his car in rage, forgetting he's wearing flip-flops, flames pour from his mouth, and it's impressive. But you see it in print, and it's...”

“I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.”

“Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.”

“A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.”

“They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.”

“The funniest line in English is 'Get it?' When you say that, everyone chortles.”

“Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.”

“The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.”

“Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.”

“Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore.”

“I love New York, and I'm drawn to a certain intensity of life, but I've just never felt like I want to escape from the Midwest. A writer lives a great deal in his own head, and so one intuit...”

“A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever.”

“My religion would be a gentle faith that believed in the sacredness of leisure. Napping as a form of prayer.”

“Zoroastrians believe in one Great Almighty Spirit of Good who is in combat against evil forces, and Goodness prevails in the end. There is no self-flagellation or staring at the sun or snake...”