Garry Shandling

“I may discuss love, and I don't mind if two men fall in love, fine. Two women, fine. But I flinch when I think of two Jewish women getting together and having a child because the idea of hav...”

“To be thrown onto the stand-up stage is an experience that you cannot fathom until you're actually there, because there's no place to go, and everyone is looking at you and you can't even se...”

“Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is.”

“My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81.”

“My second or third year in the engineering department, I got very frustrated, and I sat down with myself and had a soul-searching conversation with myself and said, 'What I'd really like to...”

“I think it's one of the main negative emotional ingredients that fuels show business, because there's so much at stake and the fear of failure looms large.”

“There's a good chance that if you're talking to me when I'm snoring, it means I'm bored.”

“You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have...”

“Dr. Phil is hiding something. Otherwise, why wouldn't he use his last name?”

“The only way I would go back to hosting would be if it were something entirely new. It would prevent me from wanting to host a standard-fare kind of talk show.”

“My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.”

“I have spent a lot of time studying the issue of relationships, how I grew up, my parents' influence on me. I've talked to a therapist,; I've looked inward spiritually at myself, and what it...”

“It takes me so long to get tired of a man. It's women that are the problem. Don't get me wrong. I think men have their problems just as much as women.”

“I'm proud of Larry Sanders and proud of every single person who went on that journey. It's a very special show to me, and I've learned a lot of lessons from it. I need to find something wher...”

“I guess he wanted to see a little more sexual activity because in real life, in bed I think less is more and let the woman come to me. Frankly, I don't even need a woman there.”

“I have this very abstract idea in my head. I wouldn't even want to call it stand-up, because stand-up conjures in one's mind a comedian with a microphone standing onstage under a spotlight t...”

“I am pretty tenacious as a perfectionist in terms of getting something right.”

“I've never had anyone put on a puppet show to convince me of anything. And I've done a lot of stuff. I don't know that I would put the puppets on when I was pitching a show. This was the hea...”

“I feel that everything I do in my life I can do in a shorter time than most men can. It's the quality, not the quantity.”

“The art of boxing is seeing spaces and being able to take shots. The hitting and being hit have to become one. Your reactions have to be so in the moment. There's no time to think.”