George Bernard Shaw

“The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.”

“Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does.”

“All my life affection has been showered upon me, and every forward step I have made has been taken in spite of it.”

“The natural term of the affection of the human animal for its offspring is six years.”

“What Englishman will give his mind to politics as long as he can afford to keep a motor car?”

“Very few people can afford to be poor.”

“I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence.”

“Every man over forty is a scoundrel.”

“Youth is wasted on the young.”

“Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.”

“Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.”

“Censorship ends in logical completeness when nobody is allowed to read any books except the books that nobody reads.”

“In socialism, private property is anathema, and equal distribution of income the first consideration. In capitalism, private property is cardinal, and distribution left to ensue from the pla...”

“In heaven an angel is nobody in particular.”

“Animals are my friends... and I don't eat my friends.”

“Human beings are the only animals of which I am thoroughly and cravenly afraid.”

“While we ourselves are the living graves of murdered animals, how can we expect any ideal living conditions on this earth?”

“It is a curious sensation: the sort of pain that goes mercifully beyond our powers of feeling. When your heart is broken, your boats are burned: nothing matters any more. It is the end of ha...”

“The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.”

“We should all be obliged to appear before a board every five years and justify our existence... on pain of liquidation.”