“We'll meet at the theater tonight. I'll hold your seat 'til you get there. Once you get there; you're on your own.”
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Groucho Marx
Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx (October 2, 1890 – August 19, 1977) was an American comedian, writer, stage, film, radio, and television star. A master of quick wit, he is widely considered one of America's greatest comedians.
Quotes
83 results
Showing 21-40 of 83
“If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.”
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“Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.”
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“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to...”
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“Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.”
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“Trovo la televisione molto educativa. Ogni volta che qualcuno la accende, vado in biblioteca e leggo un buon libro.”
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“أعتقد أن التليفزيون وسيلة ثقافية هامة للغاية .. كلما وجدت شخصاً يقوم بتشغيله، أذهب إلى غرفة أخرى لقراءة كتاب”
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“I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.”
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“I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.”
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“I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.”
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“All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.”
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“Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.”
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“Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.”
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“A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.”
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“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to...”
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“I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.”
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“She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.”
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“A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.”
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“The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting liv...”
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“I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.”
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