J. K. Rowling

“Alas! Earwax!”

“Everybody finished the song at different times. At last, only the Weasley twins were left singing along to a very slow funeral march.”

“Hermione launched herself forwards and started punching every inch of him that she could reach. 'Ouch — ow — gerroff! What the — ? Hermione — OW!' “You — complete — arse — Ronald — Weasley!”...”

“The mind is a complex and many-layered thing, Potter... or at least, most minds are...”

“Bad news, Harry. I've just been to see Professor McGonagall about the Firebolt. She – er, got a bit shirty with me. Told me I'd got my priorities wrong. Seemed to think I cared more about wi...”

“I’ll make Goyle do lines, it’ll kill him, he hates writing,” said Ron happily. He lowered his voice to Goyle’s low grunt and, screwing up his face in a look of pained concentration, mimed wr...”

“I knew I could do it all this time,” said Harry, “Because I'd already done it... does that make sense?”

“His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad, His hair is as dark as a blackboard. I wish he was mine, he's really divine, The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.”

“I see a light in the kitchen. Let us not deprive Molly any longer of the chance to deplore how thin you are.”

“And it's Gryfindor in possession again, as Johnson takes the Quaffle— Flint alongside her —poke him in the eye, Angelina —it was a joke, professor, it was a joke...”

“Don't forget to give Neville our love!' Ginny told James as she hugged him. 'Mum! I can't give a professor love!' 'But you know Neville-' James rolled his eyes. 'Outside, yeah, but at school...”

“I am a wizard, not a baboon brandishing a stick.”

“Am I about to discover where you, Ron, and Hermione disappeared to while you were supposed to be in the back room of Fred and George's shop?' 'How did you...?' 'Harry, please. You're talking...”

“Ask us no questions and we’ll tell you no lies.”

“When we come face-to-face with one down a dark alley, we're going to be having a shufti to see if it's solid, aren't we, we're not going to be asking, 'Excuse me, are you the imprint of a de...”

“Well you seemed too busy to call him a prat and I thought someone should.”

“I have gone temporarily deaf and haven't any idea what you said, Harry.”

“You can laugh! But people used to believe there were no such things as the Blibbering Humdinger or the Crumple-Horned Snorkack!”

“Harry and Hermione are very platonic friends. But I won't answer for anyone else, nudge-nudge wink-wink!”

“I thought it sounded a bit like Percy singing... maybe you've got to attack him while he's in the shower, Harry.”