Jesse Ventura

“I'm going to put on my gravestone, 'He never owned a cell phone.'”

“When you reach a certain age in life, time becomes more important than money, and I think that happens in your 50s.”

“Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat.”

“You give me a waterboard, Dick Cheney and one hour, and I'll have him confess to the Sharon Tate murders.”

“Let's remember, the CIA's job is to go out and create wars.”

“I don't have to muzzle myself when I'm a civilian. When you're a governor, you kind of have to do it, because you represent the whole state. You have to leave your personal opinions to yours...”

“You need to hunt something that can shoot back at you to really classify yourself as a hunter. You need to understand the feeling of what it's like to go into the field and know your opposit...”

“I never believe anything in the world of entertainment until it actually happens and the check clears the bank.”

“A crime is a crime, regardless of what collar you wear.”

“In February 2003, I signed a three-year contract with MSNBC to host a talk show. Having recently decided not to run again for governor of Minnesota, I was still a pretty hot commodity. The s...”

“Congratulations, you have a sense of humor. And to those who didn't: Go stick your head in the mud.”

“What do we have for veterans? Government-run health care. I understand that. Congressmen and senators... they get five choices of government-run health care. Why should a congressman and sen...”

“In my era of wrestling, there were no guaranteed contracts, so it was inherent that you draw the crowd in to make money.”

“Barack Obama's large contributor was Goldman Sachs - same thing on the Republican side. If you go to both their conventions, you see the same lobbyists paying off both sides so they win eith...”

“As governor, there isn't a lot I can do beyond that to crack down on crime. Law enforcement is really a local issue. It's the cops' job to tighten down on criminals.”

“The communism of Karl Marx would probably be actually the best for everybody as a whole. But what he didn't figure into was human nature, and that's what corrupts it.”

“Organized religion is a sham and a crutch for weak-minded people who need strength in numbers. It tells people to go out and stick their noses in other people's business.”

“Organized religion is a sham and a crutch for weak-minded people who need strength in numbers.”

“I'm a Slovak. And when I was growing up, I believed that I was Czechoslovakian because of what Russia did. They came in and took two separate countries - Slovakia and the Czech Republic - pu...”

“I asked Dalai Lama the most important question that I think you could ask - if he had ever seen Caddyshack.”