Julie Burchill

“As a kid, I grew to define what I didn't want my life to be like by sitting behind moaning women on the bus, hearing them bang on about their aches and pains, both real and imagined.”

“Here in Barcelona, it's the architects who built the buildings that made the city iconic who are the objects of admiration - not a bunch of half-witted monarchs.”

“Nicole Kidman in particular seems to bring out the butt-kisser in the sassiest of hackettes, as they ceaselessly strive to portray her as some sort of cross between Mother Teresa and Marilyn...”

“Whenever I am sent a new book on the lively arts, the first thing I do is look for myself in the index.”

“Make no mistake, most women are well aware that they've never had it so good; when they enter a spa or salon, it is purely a hair/nails thing, a prelude to an evening of guilt-free fun.”

“It has been said that a pretty face is a passport. But it's not, it's a visa, and it runs out fast.”

“We are used to female writers who use their private lives as unmitigated material being somewhat hormonal; this somehow 'excuses' what might be seen as a highly unfeminine ability to turn th...”

“Families, generally, suck. And I say that as someone who, like my husband, had parents who proved the proverbial exception to the rule.”

“Tears are sometimes an inappropriate response to death. When a life has been lived completely honestly, completely successfully, or just completely, the correct response to death's perfect p...”

“Lots of women love to accuse men of being immature when the fellow in question displays a reluctance to 'commit.'”

“From paying off friends' tax bills to rescuing stray dogs and stuffing £20 notes into the hands of homeless people, I can't get rid of my money fast enough.”

“Can I just say here how much I hate the word 'pamper'? While pretending to celebrate and indulge women, it actually implies that their bodies are so revolting that even their 'me time' must...”

“What sort of sap doesn't know by now that picture-perfect beauty is all done with smoke and mirrors anyway?”

“People - and I include myself - get fat because they choose pleasure over self-denial.”

“When a man wants to relax, he will slob out and really relax. Or he will pursue a hobby - anything from building models to watching sport.”

“Covering up, so far as I can see, is often the accompaniment to far more truly shameful behaviour than stripping off.”

“I don't really care what people tell children - when you believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, one more fib won't hurt. But I am infuriated by the growing notion, pos...”

“My second husband believed I had such a fickle attitude to friendship that each Friday he would update the list of my 'Top Ten' friends in the manner of a Top Of The Pops chart countdown.”

“As a militant troublemaker, I once wrote that it was the duty of every woman worthy of the description to upset men at least three times a day, on principle.”

“Being a monarchist - saying that one small group is born more worthy of respect than another - is just as warped and strange as being a racist.”