“Donald is very happy with his lovely wife, insert name here.”
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Quotes
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“Donald is very happy with his lovely wife, insert name here.”
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“The only reason I was allowed to have a career for a quarter century as an insult comic is because it's all in jest and all for fun.”
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“Comedy is like music - there are genres and styles for every taste. Katy Perry is there for people who like frothy pop music. Metallica is there for people who like head-banging metal. And S...”
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“William Shatner is living proof that if you are talented and nice, you can work in this industry forever.”
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“I always order soup, dessert, and a sandwich or whatever main course. But then the idea is you have to eat such a small portion of it and bring the rest home.”
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“I don't like any of it. I'm sick and tired of menopause.”
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“I don't sell myself. I've never explained my comedy to people who don't get it. Never complain. Never explain.”
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“I know Bea Arthur left the Pam Anderson roast really early, but it could have been because she was half dead; I don't know.”
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“I can really serve the audience instead of making this about me and about serving myself and my pocketbook.”
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“If they hate you, they hate you, but I've always been polarizing, and I love that.”
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“I'm a take-no-prisoners type of comic, and I'm lucky because my fans get me and never have a problem with the politically incorrect themes of my act. But I am continually amazed by how a cer...”
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“The thing is, in the dating profiles it says 'spiritual,' but not with a specific religion. And so I pretty much try to meditate, but I have a very hard time concentrating on things other th...”
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“When doing comedy, I do what makes me laugh. The first person I learned from said I should talk about things I am passionate about - that I love or hate - because the audience likes to see p...”
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“Shortly after college, I was working in New York City at 'Rolling Stone' magazine.”
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“I'm obsessed with reality TV anyway - I use my knowledge of that stuff to make jokes on Twitter and Facebook to get more people to sign up to be fans.”
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“I wasn't ready to be a dog's mother! Trust me, I'm completely unfit and irresponsible. I'm a comic that travels 48 weeks a year, but I make it work, so you can, too.”
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“Interesting-looking people have always been comedians, and it's rare that someone who has the choice to model ends up being a comic. Except for maybe Whitney Cummings, but that's about it. T...”
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