Martin Short

“I pretend I'm one of the royal family when I'm in a hotel and that the hotel belongs to me - it is a palace.”

“I was a huge fan of Steve Martin, as everyone I knew in comedy was.”

“Everything alters and changes with time. Some things that are considered triumphs, and 10 years later, they're considered minor.”

“What I learned, a little too late, was that the 'traditional' Martin Short target viewer weighs under 300 pounds. Unfortunately, I was on during daytime.”

“Comedy is a weird thing.”

“Someone once asked me what was the weirdest question I was ever asked. And I was stymied.”