P. J. O'Rourke

“The problem, when comparing contemporary television to television in 1974, is that TV has become not just bad but sad.”

“If you spend 72 hours in a place you've never been, talking to people whose language you don't speak about social, political, and economic complexities you don't understand, and you come bac...”

“America's public schools have served their purpose. Free and compulsory education was good for a somewhat unpromising young nation.”

“Writing on a computer makes saving what's been written too easy. Pretentious lead sentences are kept, not tossed. Instead of sitting surrounded by crumpled paper, the computerized writer has...”

“The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it.”

“I think it's always easy to be sympathetic to parts of the government in detail; in their concrete manifestations. Because obviously, we don't have government for no reason.”

“Toledo is better than exciting, it's happy. Because nothing is more conducive to unhappiness than taking yourself seriously, and taking yourself seriously is difficult when you're baseball t...”

“In a free country, government is a dull and onerous responsibility. It is a parent-teacher conference.”

“The prevalence of mobile homes does not correspond with the prevalence of poverty, or with much of anything else. All that can be confidently said about America's mobile homes is that they a...”

“Space has always been confusing to politics.”

“Fiscal conservatism is just an easy way to express something that is a bit more difficult, which is that the size and scope of government, and really the size and scope of politics in our li...”

“In its worse forms, conservatism is a matter of 'I hate strangers and anything that's different.'”

“Conservatives really don't believe in politics as the primary instrument of getting along in life and therefore don't tend to put their energy into it a way people left of center do.”

“Liberals are always proposing perfectly insane ideas, laws that will make everybody happy, laws that will make everything right, make us live forever, and all be rich. Conservatives are neve...”

“Something that confirms all fears and many conspiracy theories about government is finding out what our elected representatives would put into law if they could.”

“I understand Twitter has become popular among politicians. This technology allows them to stay in perpetual contact with their constituents. The electorate now has instant information about...”

“Catchphrases flourish in contemporary American English.”

“Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue.”

“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.”

“If you ask the government to solve all of your problems, it's a bit like asking your wife to cook and clean, to raise the children, to hold down a second job to help with the family finances...”