P. J. O'Rourke

“Lyndon Johnson faced some clear moral issues.”

“The Bible is very clear about one thing: Using politics to create fairness is a sin.”

“I'm fascinated by political enthusiasm.”

“Fascism is very much a mob movement.”

“Finland is a rich country. What have they got? They got Nokia phones and plywood. How'd they get so rich? Because they're free.”

“As a longtime former resident of 15 years in Washington, I wish that everybody would stay off the Mall with their political cause so that we can get out there, you know, and play flag footba...”

“Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren't present.”

“When the government runs out of lenders, it can do something that households are forbidden to do: print money.”

“Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.”

“Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God's infinite mercy, a last resort.”

“I'm not a tech-savvy parent. I communicate with my children via the old-media format called yelling.”

“Fortunately, I'm married to someone who's a pretty excellent parent!”

“Politics is - once in a while - a forum for serious debate about political philosophy.”

“Call a man 'ignorant,' and you have license to show the world your vast fund of knowledge and wise him up.”

“Neither liberal nor conservative politicians can resist the temptation to stand as mighty sequoias of rectitude amid the lowly underbrush of fundraising.”

“Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matt...”

“The words 'Space Age' have a quaint, nostalgic tone - sitting on midcentury modern furniture watching 'The Jetsons.'”

“The most futuristic aspect of the House of the Future was that it was made almost entirely of plastic.”

“Nancy Pelosi says the angry opposition to health care reform is like the angry opposition to gay rights that led to Harvey Milk being shot.”

“I don't even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I've never used a computer.”