P. J. O'Rourke

“I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad.”

“The world is being run by irresponsible spoiled brats.”

“Barack Obama is more irritating than the other nuisances on the Left.”

“I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we u...”

“Rich people don't like to be in the military. The shoes are ugly and the uniforms itch. Rich people don't go in much for revolution or terrorism, either.”

“Public schools helped create the idea of America and inculcate Americans with a few rudiments of knowledge. To judge by that very American item, the Internet, a few rudiments is all anyone c...”

“Jack Abramoff is the world's best lobbyist - for the Federal Penitentiary System.”

“The only advantage to being a middle-aged man is that when you put on a jacket and tie, you're the Scary Dad. Never mind that no one has had an actually scary dad since 1966. The visceral fe...”

“Term limits aren't enough. We need jail.”

“Jeans fit the mature male one of two ways, both dirigible in nature. You make a public impression that's either Hindenburg or Goodyear blimp.”

“One of the few benefits of being a journalist is that you're not in the Army.”

“We journalists don't have to step on roaches. All we have to do is turn on the kitchen light and watch the critters scutter.”

“Libertarianism is a way of measuring how the government and other kinds of systems respect the individual. At the core of libertarianism is the idea that the individual is sacrosanct and tha...”

“I spend my days kneeling in the muck of language, feeling around for gooey verbs, nouns, and modifiers that I can squash together to make a blob of a sentence that bears some likeness to rea...”

“Children live in the only successful Marxist state ever created: the family. 'From each according to his ability, to each according to his need' is the family's practice as well as its theor...”

“The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work...”

“I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a 'learning experience.' It makes me feel less stupid.”

“Any terrorism is an attack on libertarian values.”

“We did not become libertarians because we are altruists.”

“Medical researchers don't know much about head lice because they don't much care. The reason that they don't much care is, paradoxically, that they know a lot. That is, they know one importa...”