P. J. O'Rourke

“A fundamental American question is, 'What's the big idea?'”

“The job of the president of the United States is to talk to the public, is to explain to them. Now, some presidents talk too much, like Bill Clinton. Some presidents try to talk but don't kn...”

“Is Bill Clinton so good at politics, or are other politicians so bad?”

“Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters.”

“Are you a Democrat because you're a union member? Then why, after eight years of Bill Clinton, does some Chinese guy in Guangdong province have your job?”

“No Americans wants to see somebody lose their house because of health bills. Their boat? Maybe. Maybe the boat. But not the house.”

“When you pay a hospital bill, you're really paying two hospital bills - one bill for you because you have a job and/or insurance and can pay the hospital. and another bill, which is tacked o...”

“There's a love of rhetorical skill in the Muslim world. Osama bin Laden doesn't just go on tape cassettes and say, 'America sucks.' He recites poetry; he finds things that 'America sucks' rh...”

“Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.”

“The two most frightening words in Washington are 'bipartisan consensus.' Bipartisan consensus is when my doctor and my lawyer agree with my wife that I need help.”

“Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.”

“Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border.”

“Tel Aviv is new, built on the sand dunes north of Jaffa in the 1890s, about the same time Miami was founded. The cities bear a resemblance in size, site, climate, and architecture, which ran...”

“I realised the bohemian life was not for me. I would look around at my friends, living like starving artists, and wonder, 'Where's the art?' They weren't doing anything. And there was so muc...”

“Passover is my idea of a perfect holiday. Dear God, when you're handing out plagues of darkness, locusts, hail, boils, flies, lice, frogs, and cattle murrain, and turning the Nile to blood a...”

“I think the Baby Boom has enjoyed itself, maybe sometimes a little too much, and we're continuing to enjoy ourselves, maybe a little too much.”

“I think the Baby Boom does have a tendency to get its nose in everything. The Greatest Generation had a better tendency to leave people alone. Of course, they also had a better tendency to h...”

“Demolishing pretensions, especially worthy ones, is a hallmark of the baby boom.”

“Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.”

“Freedom is not empowerment. Empowerment is what the Serbs have in Bosnia. Anybody can grab a gun and be empowered.”