“I listened to George Carlin when I was a kid and knew every word of his routines.”

“Each individual human being has a lot of stuff that nobody knows about. Nobody knows what anybody else is going through at any point in their lives.”

“We had a cat in college named Chloe, and it was the most evil, awful cat in the world... When we left, we used to close the door, and its paw would come underneath and try to paw us.”

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me...”

“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching, Love like you'll never be hurt, Sing like there's nobody listening, And live like it's heaven on earth.”

“So many books, so little time.”

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”

“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”