“They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.”

“Somebody says, 'Do a Tom Bodett, a folksy kind of thing,' and it sounds like something out of 'Hee Haw,' very insulting. They turn wry humor into disparaging sarcasm, and you get what amounts to insulting advertising.”

“I'm not an impersonator. I've only got one voice and only do one guy and his first-person essays.”

“I'm real. I believe what I'm saying. If Motel 6 wasn't the type of operation they say it is - and I stay at them when I travel - I wouldn't do their commercials. That comes through on the radio, and that's what it's all about.”