“My short stories have always pushed twenty pages. That's no length for a short story to be. You either do them short like Carver or you stop trying.”

“As far as I'm concerned, if you want to find out about the last day of WWII or the roots of the Indian Mutiny, get thee to a books catalogue.”

“I like books that expose me to people unlike me and books that do battle against caricature or simplification. That, to me, is the heroic in fiction.”

“It's still easier to find the correct Hoover bag than to find one pure person, one pure faith, on the globe.”

“We are split people. For myself, half of me wishes to sit quietly with legs crossed, letting the things that are beyond my control wash over me. But the other half wants to fight a holy war....”

“When the male organ of a man stands erect, two thirds of his intelect go away. And one third of his religion.”

“You must live life with the full knowledge that your actions will remain. We are creatures of consequence.”

“Cos if it's encyclopedias we've got enough, like, information... and if it's God, you've got the wrong house.”