“Reality continues to ruin my life.”
“Reality continues to ruin my life.”
“Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.”
“I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.”
“Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?”
“The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.”
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“When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.”
“I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?”
“HOBBES: If you don't get a goodnight kiss you get Kafka dreams.”
“We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.”
“The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that's even worse”
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“Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery - it recharges by running.”
“A real job is a job you hate.”
“You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.”
“I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.”
“If I had rolled along with the strip's popularity and repeated myself for another five, 10 or 20 years, the people now 'grieving' for 'Calvin and Hobbes' would be wishing me dead.”
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“Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?”
“When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.”
“As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.”
“Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”
“Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. I love loopholes.”
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“I'm a 21st-century kid trapped in a 19th-century family.”
“Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a 'possum stuck in your collar?”
“Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?”
“I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations.”
“That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!”
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“I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”
“We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.”
“You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!”
“We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.”
“Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.”
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“If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.”
“I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.”
“If you can't win by reason, go for volume.”
“Like delicate lace, So the threads intertwine, Oh, gossamer web Of wond'rous design! Such beauty and grace Wild nature produces... Ughh, look at the spider Suck out that bug's juices!”
“Calvin: Why are you crying mom? Mom: I'm cutting up an onion. Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.”
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“You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.”
“The world of a comic strip ought to be a special place with its own logic and life... I don't want the issue of Hobbes's reality settled by a doll manufacturer.”
“From now on, I'm not doing anything I don't want to do! The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success.... I'm just here to cash in.”
“Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book.”
“I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night.”
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“CALVIN: When I grow up I want to be an inventor. First I will invent a time machine. Then I'll come back to yesterday and take myself to tomorrow and skip this dumb assignment.”
“CALVIN: This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery? If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it? And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this? HOBBES: I dunno. Isn't this a religious holiday? CALVIN: Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God.”
“HOBBES: Virtue needs some cheaper thrills.”
“Now what state do you live in?' 'Denial.”
“Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ...and he's in prison... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat.”
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“I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.”
“I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point.”
“From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way.”