Groucho Marx

“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”

“When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.”

“From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.”

“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”

“Humor is reason gone mad.”