A. Whitney Brown

“I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.”

“I never joined, but I used to go to church now and then. I liked it, because they always passed out plates of money at the end.”

“Harry S. Truman had his moods. His birthplace is the only tourist attraction in America where you don't see Japanese with cameras.”

“I'm not an atheist. How can you not believe in something that doesn't exist? That's way too convoluted for me.”

“Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.”

“That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.”