Adam Carolla

“If the media isn't slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?”

“When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds.”

“I am not a good cue card reader.”

“Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.”

“Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.”

“I have no connection with Hollywood. I'm not interested. I don't care.”

“I've never really broken this down before, but, in movies, you almost have no connection to fans. And if you do TV, you're kind of connected, but they know you as the TV name not your real n...”

“I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.”

“I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexica...”

“I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.”

“You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.”