Ambrose Bierce

“Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.”

“Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.”

“Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.”

“Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.”

“To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.”

“Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently w...”

“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”

“Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.”

“Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.”

“Liberty: One of Imagination's most precious possessions.”

“Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.”

“Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.”

“Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.”

“What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.”

“Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.”

“Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.”

“Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.”

“Prejudice - a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.”