Bill Engvall

“I'm a California Angels fan because that's the first game my dad took me to see, and they stuck with me.”

“I don't have big time celebrity friends - I'm just a guy.”

“I come from a time when people like Bob Newhart and Bill Cosby told stories that were devastatingly funny without being off-color.”

“In syndication, the biggest buyers are car dealerships.”

“If you lived next door to me and didn't know what I did, you wouldn't know I was a celebrity. I don't have that lifestyle, nor do I want that lifestyle. I want to know that I can have a sepa...”

“As my wife says, I'll never fully retire, but it'll start to slow down. I'll continue to do the local gigs or go to Las Vegas. But I won't be going out to Ohio to play an Indian casino anymo...”

“If you watch the 'Blue Collar Tour,' I was probably the least redneck of everybody.”

“I'm a blue collar guy.”

“I've really got no complaints.”

“I was doing a bit that stupid people should be slapped. But the more I did it, the more I didn't like that connotation, the violence and all that. The more I thought about it, I thought they...”

“I dream of acting with Kevin Costner. I would love to do a movie with him. Not something funny, but a dramatic role.”

“I learned that you don't take dishes from the table to the dishwasher; you have to rinse them first. I think that's stupid because I don't go out in the back yard and hose off before taking...”

“I'd like to see the Amazon rainforests before they're all gone, and also the Galapagos - that's another one I'd like to do. I'd love to go diving in those areas. Basically, places, like, tha...”

“Europe has such an expansive history.”

“I like to hang on to cars. I'm not one of these guys that goes flipping cars all the time. If I find a car I like, I stick with it.”

“It's funny: people who meet me say, 'I thought you'd be different.' But I'm still the same guy.”

“I love to laugh, and laughter is one of my favorite things. When you have a really good laugh, you feel great afterwards.”

“Jay Leno told me once, 'Don't do jokes about things you don't know about.'”

“I always wanted to be an actor. I always wanted to be John Wayne.”

“I came out of the mall one day, and a guy was standing there with a coat hanger in his window, and I couldn't stop myself. I asked the stupid question. 'You lock your keys in the car?' 'Nope...”