Bob Mortimer

“Rheumatoid arthritis generally happens when your immune system attacks your joints, but I've had it attack my iris.”

“I hardly do any exercise because of my arthritis and my joints.”

“The wife and the kids provide my exercise, but I have to be careful because I have rheumatoid arthritis all over my body.”

“We've always been a slightly specialist interest, and as you get older, for specialist interest programmes I think broadcasters are probably looking for younger talent, really.”

“I sometimes wonder, with the Oxbridge comics, the broadcasters seem to say, at some point, now I trust you to do a documentary, you can be the voice for a maths show, or whatever. I don't th...”

“It's like cooks don't watch cooking programmes - I suppose maybe comedians don't watch comedy shows.”

“Darts is bad.”

“We've ignored audiences all these years. We've just amused ourselves and hoped enough people would want to eavesdrop to make it all viable.”

“I remember when I worked at the solicitor's - you'd go in, talk to your mates for a bit and then get down to work. With us the talking to your mates part never stops.”

“I was a solicitor once, so I'm truly grateful because I know what it's like to have a proper job.”

“I was so young when my dad died that I didn't think it had affected me. I had such tiny memories of him, just little glimpses, I thought I had been unaffected. But then I realised, somewhere...”