David Niven

“Happy people are those who use a lower threshold in order to label an event positive.”

“I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against.”

“Old age has got to start creeping up on me one day soon, and frankly I'm very scared. I don't want to be old. I've always felt so young. And I want to stay that way.”

“I have a face that is a cross between two pounds of halibut and an explosion in an old clothes closet.”

“Malta is a sod of a place.”

“The only laugh that man will ever get in his life is by stripping and showing off his shortcomings.”