Don Herold

“Babies are such a nice way to start people.”

“Unhappiness is in not knowing what we want and killing ourselves to get it.”

“A humorist is a man who feels bad but who feels good about it.”

“Unhappiness is not knowing what we want and killing ourselves to get it.”

“There's one thing about baldness, it's neat.”

“The beggar is the only person in the universe not obliged to study appearance.”

“The brighter you are, the more you have to learn.”

“A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it.”

“There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have.”

“It takes a lot of things to prove you are smart, but only one thing to prove you are ignorant.”

“Don't ever slam a door, you might want to go back.”

“There is more sophistication and less sense in New York than anywhere else on the globe.”

“It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter.”