E. W. Howe

“A woman who can't forgive should never have more than a nodding acquaintance with a man.”

“None of us can boast about the morality of our ancestors. The record does not show that Adam and Eve were ever married.”

“It is hard to convince a high-school student that he will encounter a lot of problems more difficult than those of algebra and geometry.”

“The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.”

“Never tell a secret to a bride or a groom; wait until they have been married longer.”

“When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.”

“If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.”

“Some men storm imaginary Alps all their lives, and die in the foothills cursing difficulties which do not exist.”

“Americans detest all lies except lies spoken in public or printed lies.”

“Men have as exaggerated an idea of their rights as women have of their wrongs.”

“There is always a type of man who says he loves his fellow men, and expects to make a living at it.”

“A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.”

“Marriage is a good deal like a circus: there is not as much in it as is represented in the advertising.”

“Half the time men think they are talking business, they are wasting time.”

“When people hear good music, it makes them homesick for something they never had, and never will have.”

“The worst feeling in the world is the homesickness that comes over a man occasionally when he is at home.”

“Fishing seems to be the favorite form of loafing.”

“Many a man is saved from being a thief by finding everything locked up.”

“The feeling of sleepiness when you are not in bed, and can't get there, is the meanest feeling in the world.”

“The modest person is usually admired, if people ever hear of them.”