Ellen DeGeneres

“Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.”

“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is.”

“My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada.”

“Things will get easier, people's minds will change, and you should be alive to see it.”

“Beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It's about knowing and accepting who you are.”

“When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important.”

“You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled.”

“Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen days.”

“It always helps to think about other people instead of ourselves.”

“I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.”

“Procrastinate now, don't put it off.”

“I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.”

“Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. It is the universe's way of saying stop, slow down, you move too fast. Listen to the music. Whoa whoa, listen to the music. Because mu...”

“Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they...”

“What’s not so great is that all this technology is destroying our social skills. Not only have we given up on writing letters to each other, we barely even talk to each other. People have be...”

“Take a nap in a fireplace and you'll sleep like a log.”

“One time I actually cleaned out my closet so good I ended up on the cover of Time magazine.”

“True beauty is not related to what color your hair is or what color your eyes are. True beauty is about who you are as a human being, your principles, your moral compass.”

“I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.”

“Leaning forward in your chair when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn't enough. You also have to move the chair.”