George Ade

“'Whom are you?' he asked, for he had been to night school.”

“Nothing is improbable until it moves into the past tense.”

“A people so primitive that they did not know how to get money except by working for it.”

“After being turned down by numerous publishers, he decided to write for posterity.”

“A man never feels more important than when he receives a telegram containing more than ten words.”

“For parlor use, the vague generality is a life saver.”

“Nothing is improbable until it moves into past tense.”

“To insure peace of mind ignore the rules and regulations.”

“In the city a funeral is just an interruption of traffic; in the country it is a form of popular entertainment.”

“One man's poison ivy is another man's spinach.”

“A good jolly is worth what you pay for it.”

“It is not time for mirth and laughter, the cold, gray dawn of the morning after.”

“If it were not for the presents, an elopement would be preferable.”

“Only the more rugged mortals should attempt to keep up with current literature.”