“At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?”
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Quotes
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“At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?”
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“I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it.”
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“My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings.”
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“I'm on performance enhancing drugs, so I may cause drowsiness.”
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“They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults.”
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“I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.”
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“I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.”
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“I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.”
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“I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody.”
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“My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.”
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“I model irregular clothing.”
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“My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.”
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“After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride.”
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“I was born nine months premature.”
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“I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent. They kicked me out for pan-handling.”
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“I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else.”
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