Jimmy Carr

“I don't think it's any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and 'manned up' in the same year. I was described somewhere as a lapsed Catholic, which is funny because I'm not going back!...”

“After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead.”

“More people are going out to comedy shows than they were before.”

“They say the people most affected by the credit crunch are pensioners - well, let go of the handbag then, Nanna.”

“I go around the country and do a simple gag like, 'The property ladder is now a snake' and get a real laugh.”

“You never want to be the grumpy guy, although I do have quite a grumpy face.”

“A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.”

“The tragedy for comedians is there's nothing more they want than to be liked. We desperately seek approval. It's almost like a personality disorder you can do as a job.”

“Like most of the world's population I'm into coffee, but in a properly big and important way. My perfect weekend would start with a pint of coffee.”

“It's so clear cut with a comedian - you have that reflex action, whereby you laugh or you don't. And so you either love us or you simply cannot see why people are laughing.”

“Staying in luxury hotels still gives me a kick, especially Oulton Hall in Yorkshire. I'd stay in a hotel for the breakfast and room service.”

“I was a Christian. I didn't want to have sex before marriage, I was a bit uptight and not very self-confident. I was a virgin until I was 26.”

“I'm obsessed with TV. How wrong our parents were when they said we should only watch an hour a day. Stop wasting your time reading books.”