John Oliver

“My family are from Liverpool, so I have some twang there - I have a Midlands accent, and I was raised about an hour north of London, so my voice is a mess. Although, to American ears, it sou...”

“If you're asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustai...”

“We in Britain stopped evolving gastronomically with the advent of the pie. Everything beyond that seemed like a brave, frightening new world. We knew the French were up to something across t...”

“Australia turns out to be a sensational place, albeit one of the most comfortably racist places I've ever been in. They've really settled into their intolerance like an old resentful slipper...”

“I do one accent - my own. I can make it louder or quieter. That is the sum total of my vocal range. I thought I could do an American accent until I tried it in front of an American - the exp...”

“There is no greater anesthetic than sport.”

“Attending a Sarah Palin rally was simultaneously one of the strangest and most chilling events of my life.”

“Campaign ads are the backbone of American democracy if American democracy suffered a gigantic spinal injury.”

“My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my...”

“I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression.”

“When you've married someone who's been at war, there is nothing you can do that compares to that level of selflessness and bravery.”

“I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have Bri...”

“The British press are a group of unremitting scumbags. And sometimes they use that scumbaggery to good ends, and often not.”

“People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character.”

“It's exciting to have a role in anything that's Claymation, just because you're always intrigued by what a clay wizard version of yourself would be.”

“Most stand-ups, once they have done it, think of it as their default job. I'm pretty sure Jon Stewart still feels that way now. You are a stand-up first; other things come and go.”

“The British media is sinking down, as the American news media has lowered the bar for all of humanity. British news media is definitely trying to stoop down to that level. Everyone is stoopi...”

“There are some people who watch NASCAR for the highly skilled driving - but most people watch it for the crashes.”

“People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on 'The Daily Show'... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor.”

“In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying; you want to...”