John Oliver

“There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers.”

“I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life.”

“I feel non-stop Brit shame!”

“Stand-up comedy seems like a terrifying thing. Objectively. Before anyone has done it, it seems like one of the most frightening things you could conceive, and there's just no shortcut - you...”

“I'm British; pessimism is my wheelhouse.”

“I can't relax. I find vacations problematic.”

“The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked.”

“There's never any time I think I'm a real journalist, because I don't have any of the qualifications or the intentions for that.”

“You have to do stand-up quite a long time before you learn how to do it well.”

“You have to do stand-up quite a long time before you learn how to do it well. It was probably years before I was confident enough in stand-up that I was able to talk about the things I wante...”

“I'm British, so obviously I repress any powerful emotions of any kind in relation to anything.”

“I did sketch comedy, but I never did improv. So I've just tried to learn as I go.”

“A Southern accent is not a club in my bag.”

“I would much rather America was a more stable, wonderful place. You know, I love it.”