Johnny Vegas

“I sang 'American Pie' a lot in my stage set. It had a knack of uniting an audience in a sing-along. It's a clever song about American history but wrapped in a fantastic tune.”

“I've got little ankles and a bit of a belly, so it makes me look rather an egg on legs.”

“Baldness is visually enough of a stigma as it is without a big sweaty bloke on stage pointing it out.”

“I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, I'm grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year old's birthday party, you couldn't pay me enough.”

“You always hear people saying, 'I hope I'm not turning into my dad', but I'd be honoured if I became half as decent a bloke as he is.”

“People are always asking, 'Where does Michael Pennington end and Johnny Vegas begin,' and you're going, 'It's not like that: it's blurred right across.'”

“'Johnny' was a coping mechanism who could take those things which could have ordinarily destroyed me, by tweaking my past and throwing it back out there, getting laughs from things that woul...”

“I get obsessed with decorations and decorating the house. I keep it tasteful outside, but when you get inside it is a bit like Blackpool illuminations, I go bonkers!”

“I am very proud of what 'Johnny' achieved in stand-up comedy because he believed entirely in giving an audience the best kick he could. But he was someone who was quite detrimental to my hea...”

“There's a domino effect with certain things you say.”

“I struggle as a writer, and I'm convinced that if I was at school now, I'd be termed as having ADS. Two minutes and I'm drifting.”

“My forte is playing drunks down the ages. When my agent rings me about a role, I don't ask what the part is, but what century it's in.”

“Health-wise, I couldn't have said what my life expectancy would've been if I'd just carried on doing solid blocks of stand-up.”

“With stand-up you've just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle.”

“We had a week off in the middle of shooting, but as soon as everyone stopped, we all went down with six different types of flu and other unmentionable diseases.”

“I'm loath to use my personal life to promote what I do, but at the same time, I don't like a journalist going away with no more than you could get off Wikipedia, where most of it's invented...”

“For the greater good, I thought I should be a spiritual leader for people for some reason.”

“I couldn't be 'Johnny' in front of a camera in acting jobs and behind the camera I like to be 'Michael.' With directing, you can't do it by halves. There's a lot of reflection, and I have fo...”

“'Johnny' was always a lone wolf when he got on stage. Him against the world, whereas suddenly, when I got into acting, people were relying on me.”

“I hate flying, airports and the whole rigmarole - queuing up, security and lost luggage.”