Jonathan Winters

“If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it.”

“If your ship doesn’t come in, Swim out to meet it!”

“Something I'll always remember - when I was a kid, I shook hands with Orville Wright. Forty years later, I shook hands with Neil Armstrong. The guy that invented the airplane and the guy tha...”

“I began painting well before I started doing comedy. In fact, when I came out of the war in 1946, I enrolled in art school in Dayton, Ohio. I painted for three years, and then show business...”

“My mother had a radio show - a Barbara Walters type of gal and was very successful for about 20-some years on a radio station.”

“As a kid, I always wanted to be lots of things. I was a Walter Mitty type. I wanted to be in the French Foreign Legion, a detective, a doctor, a test pilot with a scarf, a fisherman who haul...”

“I know you can be funny without being filthy.”

“I love improvisation. You can't blame it on the writers. You can't blame it on direction. You can't blame it on the camera guy... It's you. You're on. You've got to do it, and you either sin...”

“Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others.”

“Well, the most terrible fear that anybody should have is not war, is not a disease, not cancer or heart problems or food poisoning - it's a man or a woman without a sense of humor.”

“The most terrible fear that anybody should have is not war, is not a disease, not cancer or heart problems or food poisoning - it's a man or a woman without a sense of humor.”

“I have never pretended to be any kind of super-religious kind of man, but I feel very strongly that you can be funny without being dirty.”

“I find painting a much slower process than comedy, where you can go a mile a minute verbally and hope to God that some of the people out there understand you.”

“I find painting a much slower process than comedy, where you can go a mile a minute verbally and hope to God that some of the people out there understand you. I don't paint every day. I'm no...”