Karl Pilkington

“Chinese people age overnight.”

“If you sit in a bath of pineapple chunks, it can kill you. That's well documented.”

“We'll all die out eventually. Humans will be gone. And all I'm saying is, when people worry about polar bears disappearing or whatever, it's like, 'Well that's life, things will come and go,...”

“I've done some luxury flying, which is brilliant. It has only happened once or twice, but it was nice because flying is the worst part of the holiday. But then again, if the plane crashes, y...”

“You know, when you're a producer, you're a bit of a lackey. You're just making cups of tea and making sure they've got newspaper, stuff like that.”

“Sometimes you can know too much. A lot of brainy people like Stephen Fry are quite depressive.”

“The reason I did the book about holidays is that you're a different person on holiday. You're sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, knocking about with people you've never met and for 10 days you'r...”

“I've never understood the 'things to do before you die' idea. If I was ill, I'd be in no mood to have a swim with a dolphin.”

“Making the 'An Idiot Abroad' series, I was really dreading going to India; I thought I'd hate it. It was a nightmare, and I was really ill - just like everyone says.”

“I love nature - it's probably my most favorite thing. I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and something about the ocean...”

“Who'd have thought the Frisbee would have caught on?”

“Getting old is better than being young. You can do what you want to do.”

“I don't think I'd be a very good parent. I'd be too honest.”

“The other day I was thinking - because I get a lot of headaches - I was wondering whether the head should be where it is. Because, at the end of the day, it's probably the heaviest part of y...”

“Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched 'University Challenge.' The onion was probably the highlight.”

“A slug is always on its own. It's a lonely insect.”

“I don't know what the future is, but you just do it whilst it's there, don't you?”

“I sometimes wonder how we're short of cod. There's gonna be a load deep down that are hiding. But it's a good reason to put the price up, and it means a load of people will have haddock. The...”

“I don't know any Londoners 'cos I'm from Manchester.”

“I've got loads of nieces and nephews.”