Karl Pilkington

“I mean, I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere.”

“I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere.”

“I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and something about the oceans and the amount of weird fish that's in there.”

“Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don't get all that social media stuff, I've always got other things I want to do - odd...”

“I don't want to go about offending people; that's not my plan.”

“Parrots have gone a bit quiet since pirates have gone.”

“I think it's a problem when something's a dream because it'll never live up to your expectations. It's better to go somewhere thinking it'll be horrible, and then be pleasantly surprised.”

“When you've been on a programme called 'An Idiot Abroad' job offers aren't exactly flying in.”

“I had a bad experience doing public speaking at school. I had to talk about a pen for five minutes and it was really hard work. I couldn't wait to get off the stage.”

“I really can't believe what a state the Pyramids are in. I thought they had flat rendered sides, but when you get up close, you see how they are just giant boulders balanced on top of each o...”

“I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that wa...”

“I'm not that lazy, but I don't need that much money. I lead a fairly simple life.”

“It would be spiteful to put a Jellyfish in a trifle.”

“To me, a cat is an easy pet, they don't need any spoiling or looking after.”

“Comedy's really subjective, you know.”

“Comedy's really subjective, you know; that's why it's so hard.”

“And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding.”

“I'm not a proper traveler. I don't like to be challenged or have too much of a change and prefer a week away just to relax.”

“I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much.”

“I am into nature and seeing whales. I went whale-watching, and I was really looking forward to that, but when you see it on TV and you see other programs do it, you're seeing close-ups of th...”