Kin Hubbard

“A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.”

“The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.”

“If capital and labor ever do get together it's good night for the rest of us.”

“No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.”

“All the world loves a good loser.”

“It's the good loser who finally loses out.”

“Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.”

“The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.”

“Where ignorance is bliss it's foolish to borrow your neighbor's newspaper.”

“It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth once they inherit it.”

“There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose.”

“Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it's by applause.”

“Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.”

“Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.”

“Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.”

“Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.”

“Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil.”

“The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing.”

“There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?”

“Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.”