Kin Hubbard

“Nobody ever forgets where he buried a hatchet.”

“The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.”

“It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.”

“It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness. Poverty and wealth have both failed.”

“I haven't heard of anybody who wants to stop living on account of the cost.”

“Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.”

“An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed.”

“The world gets better every day - then worse again in the evening.”

“Being an optimist after you've got everything you want doesn't count.”

“I don't know of anything better than a woman if you want to spend money where it will show.”

“Everything comes to him who waits, except a loaned book.”

“There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick.”

“As to those who hoard gold and silver and spend it not in God's path, give them, then, the tidings of a painful agony: on a day when these things shall be heated in hell-fire, and their fore...”

“Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught.”

“Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.”

“A bee is never as busy as it seems; it's just that it can't buzz any slower.”

“Getting talked about is one of the penalties for being pretty, while being above suspicion is about the only compensation for being homely.”

“We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.”

“A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.”

“I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans.”