Lily Tomlin

“For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.”

“I have always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.”

“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.”

“We're all in this together - by ourselves.”

“If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?”

“Why is it when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?”

“For fast-acting relief try slowing down.”

“There will be sex after death; we just won't be able to feel it.”

“Why is it when we talk to God we are said to be praying, and when God talks to us we're said to be schizophrenic?”

“If I had known what it would be like to have it all, I might have been willing to settle for less.”

“I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.”

“The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.”

“When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.”

“Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.”

“Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that's the truth.”

“What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains.”

“Creating characters is just another way to express a type and put that type to use.”

“I grew up in a time when women didn't really do comedy. You had to be homely, overweight, an old maid, all that. You had to play a stereotype, because very attractive women were not supposed...”

“I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.”

“I mean yes to act out something or take chances in the performance is one thing. But in terms of a camera, whatever's captured is captured so that's a little more daunting.”