Louis C. K.

“Shut up…let me tell you, LET ME. Every time I look at your face or even remember it, it wrecks me. And the way you are with me and you’re just fun and you shit all over me and you make fun o...”

“Pamela, I’m in love with you. Yeah, it’s that bad. You’re so beautiful to me. Shut up! Lemme tell you. Let me. Every time I look at your face or even remember it, it wrecks me - and the way...”

“You’ll be fine. You’re 25. Feeling [unsure] and lost is part of your path. Don’t avoid it. See what those feelings are showing you and use it. Take a breath. You’ll be okay. Even if you don’...”

“Self-love is a good thing but self-awareness is more important. You need to once in a while go ‘Uh, I’m kind of an asshole.”

“I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly...”

“Most people are dead. Did you know that? It's true, out of all the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead.”

“I was a nerd growing up, and I'm a little antisocial and awkward.”

“When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant. And you sort of get a list from her every day and you run down the list and it feels very much like a chore.”

“I was an awkward kid.”

“It's kind of awkward to eat alone in a restaurant because everybody's looking at me.”

“When two kids are being completely berserk, and they're naked and throwing food around, sometimes I just let it go because I can see a future where they're going to be dressed, and they're g...”

“There's a woman I see who's not my therapist, but she's like an old friend who's a therapist in profession. She lets me talk to her like a therapist once in a while, and she does a great thi...”

“You can't cancel my stand-up tours. It's impossible. There's too many separate bosses. There is no 'bosses.'”

“You know, the people who do indie film and decide who gets those little budgets? They're mean, man. They're cold and very cool-oriented.”

“I don't know what it's like to be an actor, where if your show gets canceled, really you're just a bum.”

“Cars and cameras are the two things I let myself be materialistic about. I don't care about other stuff.”

“It's easier to cancel a show if it's expensive.”

“If you're a cartoon character or most TV characters, sure, you'll fight, because the punches are juicy-sounding and they don't leave marks. But in real life, if somebody punches you in the e...”

“There are people that really live by doing the right thing, but I don't know what that is, I'm really curious about that. I'm really curious about what people think they're doing when they'r...”

“Some things I think are very conservative, or very liberal. I think when someone falls into one category for everything, I'm very suspicious. It doesn't make sense to me that you'd have the...”