Maria Bamford

“I have received more fulfillment and adulation than I would ever know what to do with in terms of show business.”

“I love that vision-board thing where you cut out pictures that resonate with you so they'll manifest. I've done that since I was three; I cut out pictures of ladies from the JCPenney catalog...”

“I'm sort of shy, and Twitter feels like chatting all day with a group. I like to follow people. I'm following Joel Osteen, Steve Martin, and an anonymous purple egg - just to see where they...”

“I get sort of short with people and start grumbling and clearing my throat - in honor of my father - when I'm impatient. It's very charming.”

“My dad has some depressive issues, and he's really tough on himself. So sometimes he can say things that are not super supportive. Like once I did a set, and he says, 'Sheesh, no wonder you'...”

“The bigger the crowds get, the more nervous I get. I actually am very comfortable with a half-filled room of people who are slightly disinterested and are irritated at a Barnes & Noble.”

“My mom always does this thing where, the closer I get to home, the more she calls. 'Hey, listen, how's your plane? Did you land? Are you landing? Sweetie. Listen. We want to... ' The anxiety...”

“I'm not an extroverted person, nor am I hyper-confident in my point of view. I just don't have that personality.”

“I have a hard time with interviews, because I'd rather hear about the interviewer.”

“I've been stopped a few times by people who want to say, 'Hi.' But I'm an introverted person, and the idea that I'd have to talk to people all the time seems a little overwhelming.”

“People get really irritated by mental illness.”

“Get out of your house and go see some live performance, for God's sake. There are people creating things just outside your window.”

“I do some compassionate mindfulness every day. It's like a Buddhist thing. I tell myself that I'm doing a good job, that kind of thing. It makes me feel better.”

“My mom is very structured. She gets up, she does her prayers, and she eats her oatmeal with blueberries and Greek yogurt, and she has her prayer list, and she doesn't worry too much about th...”

“I never really thought of myself as depressed so much as paralyzed by hope.”

“I like all kinds of comedy. I like comedy that doesn't talk about real beliefs or serious thoughts, but then I also like the stuff that does. I think it just depends. It's a completely perso...”

“I was raised in Duluth, Minnesota, where you never say that you're cold, or that you're suffering, and you listen politely to people, even if you disagree with them completely. Then you say...”

“Schizophrenia is hearing voices, not doing voices.”

“I'd like to create a lovable character for schizophrenia; it doesn't have a celebrity spokesperson because by the time somebody's schizophrenic they've lost all their teeth.”

“Some of my friends and family have tried to challenge me to do jokes that aren't as self-deprecating, where I genuinely express my own opinion in my own voice.”