Mason Cooley

“Commerce is greedy. Ideology is blood-thirsty.”

“An adolescent is both an impulsive child and a self-starting adult.”

“Great talkers are trying to fill the gap between themselves and others, but only widen it.”

“At the end of every diet, the path curves back toward the trough.”

“Manly men and womanly women are still here but feeling nervous.”

“Three people marooned on a desert island would soon reinvent politics.”

“Children pay little attention to their parents' teachings, but reproduce their characters faithfully”

“Reading gives us someplace to go when we have to stay where we are.”

“People who abhor solitude may abhor company almost as much.”

“If beggars do not hate the rest of us, they are even more abject than I had imagined.”

“An academic dialect is perfected when its terms are hard to understand and refer only to one another.”

“After an argument, silence may mean acceptance or the continuation of resistance by other means.”

“If you call failures experiments, you can put them in your resume and claim them as achievements.”

“The laughter of the aphorism is sometimes triumphant, but seldom carefree.”

“If the world would apologize, I might consider a reconciliation.”

“A happy arrangement: many people prefer cats to other people, and many cats prefer people to other cats.”

“Old age: I fall asleep during the funerals of my friends.”

“My mind is led astray by every faint rustle.”

“Children now expect their parents to audition for approval.”

“Malice is always authentic and sincere.”