“I have a file of four million jokes... I have them cross-indexed. Whatever subject you want, I have a joke on it.”
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Quotes
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“I have a file of four million jokes... I have them cross-indexed. Whatever subject you want, I have a joke on it.”
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“A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.”
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“I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has n...”
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“Laughter is an instant vacation.”
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“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”
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“I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting.”
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“People say I owe a lot to television. The fact is I was a star long before television. What TV made me is unemployed.”
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