Neil Simon

“There's no such thing as a sure thing. That's why they call it gambling.”

“You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were too low to get them into schools the regular way. As a matter of fact, it was my SAT scores that le...”

“If no one ever took risks, Michaelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor.”

“Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you'll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples.”