Noel Coward

“My advice about acting? Speak clearly, don't bump into people, and if you must have motivation, think of your pay packet on Friday.”

“Work is more fun than fun.”

“What I adore is supreme professionalism. I’m bored by writers who can write only when it’s raining.”

“Someday I suspect, when Jesus has definitely got me for a sunbeam, my works may be adequately assessed.”

“We have no reliable guarantee that the afterlife will be any less exasperating than this one, have we?”

“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”

“I don't believe in astrology. The only stars I can blame for my failures are those that walk about the stage.”

“Success took me to her bosom like a maternal boa constrictor.”

“That strange feeling we had in the war. Have you found anything in your lives since to equal it in strength? A sort of splendid carelessness it was, holding us together.”

“Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.”

“I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me.”

“It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.”

“It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.”

“I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.”

“I'll go through life either first class or third, but never in second.”

“There's always something fishy about the French.”

“If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday.”

“My body has certainly wandered a good deal, but I have an uneasy suspicion that my mind has not wandered enough.”

“I have always paid income tax. I object only when it reaches a stage when I am threatened with having nothing left for my old age - which is due to start next Tuesday or Wednesday.”

“I've sometimes thought of marrying - and then I've thought again.”